lists

I love lists and schedules. For me, there is little as satisfying as seeing my to do list at the end of the day with everything crossed off. I love that visual evidence of a productive day. Sometimes, if I complete a task that wasn't on my list, I will add it just so I can cross it off. I know, it's kind of a sickness. But, sometimes in my quest to get things done, I forget there is more to a job than its completion. Sometimes the satisfaction of a task is in the task itself.

Jesus' main complaint with the Pharisees was that they were simply going through the motions of following the law. There was no true motive beyond their zealousness other than the satisfaction at the end of the day that they had done what they were supposed to do. But there was so much they were missing. They were missing the intent behind the law. They were missing the love behind the law and they were missing the fact that the law was designed to change their hearts and make them see their need for a savior. As a result, they missed Him when he was standing right in front of them.

This makes me wonder how much I miss with my zeal to cross things off my list. Sure, I get my Bible Study done, but do I take the time to really absorb what I am studying? I feed my family dinner, but am I feeding their hearts and their souls? The house gets clean but am I cleansing my soul daily? There are many days I need to slow down. I need to throw out the list and remember what is important. Maybe we will eat pizza for dinner, but my son will know he can come to me anytime for homework help. Maybe the dishes will sit in the sink but my daughter and I will enjoy some cuddle time. And maybe I won't get my Bible Study done today but my husband will feel he is a priority.

I will always love my lists and schedules. They are the things which help me maintain control. But as I write these words, I realize that is the very thing God is trying to teach me. He is in control, not me. I need to trust that and look for the ways I can serve Him, even if it's not on my list.