short-sighted

I have spent alot of time lately thinking about the travelers on the road to Emmaus. You remember the story at the end of Luke? Shortly after Jesus' death, two men were travelling when Jesus appeared to them. Only they didn't recognize it was Jesus at first. How many times have I neglected to recognize Jesus in my life? I have gotten really good at creating these fantasies in my head of how I think Jesus should act that sometimes I fail to see Him when He is right in front of me.

That's what I think happened with these men. Jesus' death took them by surprise. They were so focused on their current problem, Israel's oppression, that they failed to see the bigger picture. Jesus was supposed to be their Savior yet now he was gone and Rome must have seemed even more powerful. They missed the looming problem, the oppression of the world and it was hard for them to see how Jesus' death could have solved anything. It took Jesus himself to explain everything to them before these men could understand that His death was a victory and not a defeat.

I can so relate to these men. My self-centeredness leads me to miss so much of what God has for me. I focus on my own small problems and I miss how God might want to use me for something or someone else. When God doesn't act the way I think He should, I become distraught and short-sighted and I forget that this life is not all about me. How I long for the sense of community that is described in the early church in Acts.

Lord, change my heart, help my focus to be other-centered instead of self-centered. Transform me to be genuinely happy for the blessings you provide for others and show me the ways you have provided for me to be a vessel for some of those blessings. Help me to see the big picture and when things don't go my way, help me to remember that you promise to work all things for the good of those who love you and are called according to your purposes - all the people, not just me.

avoidance

It has been a LONG time since I have written here, far too long. I have a reason, but it's not a very good one. Put quite simply, I have been avoiding it. My life in the past few months has been crazy and to be honest, I have not been very content. I have been obedient. I have trusted God with the big picture, but I have spent my days worrying about the little things and wondering exactly how we are going to get to the big picture. I have reasoned, "How can I write a blog about contentment when I have been anything but?" But truthfully, this is probably where I should have been all along. I forgot the second word of my title - project. That means this is an on-going process. I am still learning to be content and I am sure it will be a life-long process.

As I think about my first post, I am reminded of why I started this blog in the first place. I missed writing and the unique way God would speak to me as I wrote. I wish I had held onto that instead of thinking I had some wisdom to impart on anyone who might read this. So if there is any wisdom, it is this - I am an imperfect being with a God who loves me. I do not have all the answers but I have a God who does. I make mistakes every single day but God invites me back into His presence everytime I stray. I am constantly working on this project. There will be days I am more content than others but I know that without God, I don't have a chance.

grace

This past year I have become a bit consumed with eating healthy and exercise. I was wondering yesterday why it has become so easy for me to haul my patooty out of bed so early in the morning to exercise when it is sometimes so hard to find the time to spend with God. It hit me as I was doing my workout. Two things keep me hitting the elliptical day after day, tangible results that I can control. The more I exercise, the more I can physically see those results on my body and I have complete control over those results. I can choose to work my body or not. The weeks I am better at sticking to my routine, I see a better return for my time. When I start to feel flabby or tired because I have eaten the wrong things, I have nobody to blame but myself.

But spending time with God is different. True, the more time I spend with Him I see results, but those results are sometimes less tangible and I definitely do not control them. As you may have guessed, control is something of an issue with me.

This was an important realization for me to come to because it helped me to see that I try to do the same thing with God that I can do with exercise. I try to control His favor by my good deeds. But I need to understand that is not possible. "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith - and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God - not by works, so that no one can boast." Thank you, Paul for the reminder. I have done nothing to earn my salvation and I can do NOTHING to earn God's favor. He gives it according to His grace, exceedingly, abundantly, according to His grace.

I find such great comfort in that this morning because if I can do nothing to earn His grace than there is also nothing I can do to make His grace disappear. God loves me and He has an amazing plan for my life, a plan filled with wonderful things. It may not be my plan and it may go in a completely different direction than I would have thought. But I know it is the BEST plan for my life and I choose to trust Him.

keep

Isaiah 26:3 says, "You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you." Two words jump out at me as I read this verse, keep and steadfast. In a way, they mean the same thing don't they? Steadfast means to persevere, to keep on. I have learned to have moments of God's peace but what I desire most is to keep that peace always. To do that, I need to learn to keep my eyes on Him, to keep my trust focused on the only place it ever needs to be.

Why is that so hard to remember sometimes? I want to look at my circumstances. I want to trust in the people around me. But my circumstances and the people in my life can never offer the peace that God can give. Only He can fill my heart from within with His assurance that He has things under control. The Creator of the Universe holds my life in His hands. WOW - I don't need to be afraid of anything.

So God, I ask for your help today. I want to experience this perfect peace you offer. Please help me to remain steadfast because I trust in YOU!

fools

It's easy in Christian circles to get caught up in speaking this language only other believers understand. We talk about being saved and praying in the spirit and unbelievers have no idea what we are talking about. This used to really bother me and I would always try to come up with ways to tone down my speech so others would take me seriously. But the truth is, some things are hard to explain if you haven't experienced them. How do you tell someone who has never felt that feeling of being filled with the Holy Spirit how it feels to be enveloped with God's peace, guidance, comfort and assurance. How do you explain to someone what it sounds like to hear God speaking directly to you?

Perhaps Paul said it best in 1 Corinthians 1:18 when he said, "the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God." I watched Meredith Vieira this morning on the Today show try to make a fool of a fellow believer. This man, James King, had been part of a rescue effort to find a missing girl in Florida. After 4 days of searching Mr. King said the Lord led him directly to the missing girl. "And you brought some stuff with you to help you out as well, besides the Lord's guidance," Ms. Vieira said with a chuckle. As if the Lord's guidance couldn't possibly have led to the girl's discovery. My heart fell at the animosity in her voice. Perhaps, I was reading too much into it but it seemed all to familiar.

Every believer listening knew EXACTLY what Mr. King was talking about but to everyone else, he seems like a fool. Well, I say - you be a fool James King!!! And I thank him for the reminder that it doesn't matter what others think. Only the truth matters. Too many times I get caught up in wondering what my unbelieving friends are going to think about the way I speak about God. Will they think I'm a whack job? Will they think I am unintelligent? How many times have I kept my mouth closed when the Holy Spirit was urging me to speak because I was afraid? But this morning, James King went on national television and spoke the truth. Will there be some who think he is a nut case? Most definitely. Is it going to matter when he stands in front of his Savior and hears the words, "Well done my good and faithful servant?" I think not.

I want to encourage you to watch the footage of the interview here: http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/26184891/vp/36497656#36497656
Perhaps you too will be encouraged by this man's courage.

joy

The book of Nehemiah is one of those books in the Old Testament I don't turn to very often. But, I spent a little time there this morning and I was touched by what I read. The book of Nehemiah recounts the third return to Jerusalem after captivity and tells of the rebuilding of the city walls. Chapter 8 brings us to a gathering of the people where Ezra, the scribe is reading to them from the Book of the Law. Verse 9 says, "Then Nehemiah the governor, Ezra the priest and scribe, and the Levites who were instructing the people said to them all, 'This day is sacred to the Lord your God. Do not mourn and weep.' For the people had been weeping as they listened to the words of the Law."

I can symapathize with their weeping. I can imagine what they were feeling. Here they are, listening to God's word, God's law and they had not been living up to it. Have you ever been there? Have you ever been confronted with God's perfect standard only to realize you come up short, very short? Doesn't it make you want to weep at times? Have you felt that conviction deep in your soul and felt ashamed? I have.

But Nehemiah tells them it is not a time for mourning and weeping, this is a sacred day. He tells them to "Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks." He says, "Do not grieve for the joy of the Lord is your strength." He speaks of joy when they are reeling with guilt. It's a good lesson.

Guilt is such a powerful tool of satan. He loves to take that conviction, that prompting from the Holy Spirit to make a positive change, and turn it into something which cripples us. He wants us to dwell on the thing we've done wrong, reminding us how awful we are, what terrible sinners we are. Maybe if he gets us thinking all those negative thoughts we won't have the time or the inclination to work on the change part.

But Nehemiah reminds us the joy of the Lord is our strength. We don't have to weep and mourn because God provides the way to salvation. And we have it so much easier than these Old Testament Jews because we have the rest of the story, we have Jesus. Romans 8:1 tells us "there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ." We have freedom from the law and freedom from our sinful nature. Does that mean we no longer sin? Of course not, but our sin should not be our focus, our relationship with God should be and in Him is forgiveness and love and joy.

So the next time you feel that tug on your heart, that conviction from the Holy Spirit urging you to change in some area of your life, I want to encourage you to find the joy in that. Don't turn to the guilt satan will try to fill you with. Be joyful that you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you. It is a sacred day. Let the joy of the Lord be your strength.

snow

I've been thinking alot about snow lately, probably because I have been completely surrounded by it for almost 2 weeks now. I grew up in Southern California so snow is not something I am terribly familiar with. Now that I live where it snows, I am hoping the novelty of it never wears off. Snow amazes me. I am bewildered by the fact that something can be at once so delicate yet so powerful. But the thing I am intrigued by the most is a single snowflake. I was 19 years old before I actually saw snow falling from the sky. As I looked at my glove that first time, I was surprised by what I saw. I had no idea that snowflakes really look the way we are taught to cut them from paper in school. I now have a book sitting on my coffee table filled with the most beautiful pictures of snowflakes. I could look at it all day long. But the thing that touches me the most is that of all the billions and billions of snowflakes that fall, no two are alike. Is there any better evidence for the existence of God? Who but the Master Creator could come up with all of those amazing designs?

But there is something else about snow that blows me away and that is it's pure whiteness. There is nothing so breathtaking as looking out the window after a snowstorm and viewing the untouched snow. When the sun is shining you have to shield your eyes from the brightness. Isaiah 1:18 says, "Come now, lets us reason together," says the Lord. "Though your skins are like scarlet, they shall be white as snow; though they are as red as crimson, they shall be like wool." And as I look out at the vastness of the snow surrounding me, I imagine that each little snowflake that falls is one of our sins which God has transformed. And not only has He turned them white, but He has turned each one into something new, something beautiful. No longer is it a red mark against us to condemn us. It has been transformed to reflect His glory. He takes our weaknesses and shows the world His power through His forgiveness.

I see this reflected in my own life. I was a sinner. I did some things I am ashamed of. And though I still sin, that is not what defines me anymore because Jesus died for those sins and He has made me a new creation. It continues to astound me. The person I am now would be unrecognizable to the person I once was. It is something I could never have done on my own. Only the Master Creator could have done it. Just like the snowflake, I am unique. He has given me gifts and talents that nobody else has and just like that snowflake, they are beautiful when used for his purpose.